15 May 2009

only one year ago

i rarely peek into my archives. which is ironic for someone who calls this her dear diary. aren't diaries for revelations on return visits? i should glimpse backwards more often.

may 2008 seems like yesterday. i can picture it so clearly. i was packing up boxes, dan was taking his last finals and we were preparing for the unknown. moving, starting new job, having baby. flipping our life upside down; strapping in and bracing ourselves for big change. we were coming undone, stepping off a cliff, learning life lessons, celebrating my law school graduate and starting fresh in our new nest.

i remind you fellow friends, i looked like this and at ten o'clock every night, my belly was benji's personal bounce house. but he wasn't benji yet. he was still bruce (dan's idea of a pet name). i had no idea then how this would be. how we would transition from d & me to d, me & baby b. i didn't imagine us meeting new friends, discovering new places or photographing cows in our spare time. i didn't fathom how the big skies of idaho would change me or how dan would settle into real life as a lawyer. or how i'd settle into becoming a mama and how much i would love my baby boy. i had little idea of how so many changes could occur in one year and how crazy fast my babe would grow from a sleepy newborn to army crawling on the kitchen floor. (or how happy a set of jingling teaspoons makes him. and a small plastic funnel, you gotta be kidding me, best thing ever. brown paper sack, pure heaven. my sweetheart boy is so over conventional toys.)

this year, so much good has come. and to think, i was afraid of change. even fearful of the unknown. i didn't know becoming a trio would work out so smoothly. i didn't know that living in farm country could be so refreshing. or that cattle drives could be so thrilling. i didn't know that i could become a mom and still be me. last year, i had so many wonders and so many wishes. of course, i still do. yet once again i have learned that change can be good. very good, excellent even. and the unknown sometimes turns out for the best.

p.s. the only redeeming factor about scrubbing sinks, wiping behind the fridge, dumping drawer contents into boxes, packing up life's belongings and wrapping bubble wrap around the hundreds of dishes you tell your husband you need, is the bliss of sending out cute moving announcements when it's all said and done.

this one by fpo flipped my lid.
via oh so beautiful paper
(if you love paper, it's a must-read).

wishing you a thoughtful friday.


Jake said...

What a year it has been! Do you officially feel like a grown up now?

--r said...

i so absolutely feel you on this one. even though we didn't move, going from a duet to a trio was so upside down. how odd that being on your head could feel like being the perfect, sparkling, right way 'round.
here's to another fabulous year for you and your wonderful boys - best wishes from me and mine.

Janssen said...

What a sweet post. . . it's so nice to look back.

Tiffany said...

I love this post so much. I had a similar-in-some-ways monumental year last year as well, and I've been thinking of it so much lately. All that was unknown that is now my normal life. So strange and wonderful.

Thanks for putting it all to words!

MarjnHomer said...

so many things can happen in a year that changes your life forever. 2008 is gone but not forgotten

Erica said...

what a great year marta -
i kinda' got butterflies when i read your post. i am right in that spot where you were a year ago. ahhh, change makes me so nervous!

Anonymous said...

change is always difficult to face but it seems to bring out the best in us. we find out what we are made of. it surprises us with what we actually are capable of.

my little one is so over conventional toys as well. at this moment she is mesmerized with my older one's sponge rollers. here's to creativity and imagination in its budding stages!

summer said...

i so enjoyed this glimpse backward, m. it's really fun to see where you were vs. where you are, and all the good things involved. so glad you recorded every step. how awesome. you have motivated me to do the same!

grant thinks when we have kids we should not buy any toys at all and just give them harmless household objects to keep them entertained. he says those make the best toys. i think benji is proving his point.

ps. yay for chocolate teddy grahams! hope you are enjoying.

Molly said...

in the process of selling my home & moving onto a new phase in my life. this was so inspirational! thanks for sharing!

Jamie said...

Thanks for this post. My husband is graduating law school in two days and we are making a big move back out west. I am scared and a little sad to leave the life we made together during these last three years. You inspire me to have hope for a bright future.

karyn said...

Lovely post. Being a mom is a wonderful extension of yourself!

ALFIE said...

it's pretty amazing to look back, isn't it? To take into account the changes in our lives, and in ourselves.
And doesn't it always seem like the things that were scariest, or the most difficult to commit to, bring us the most happiness? Even if we don't realize it right away!
Thanks for reminding us all to take a step back and remember!

*** side note:: at the conference: kate's advice for something exciting to keep kids entertained was shaving cream on the table....she said not only do kids go nuts, your table is rather sparkly after!!

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