21 October 2009

to think and to look at life with new eyes

today i drove the loop with benji after swinging at the park and getting him completely worn out in the autumn gorgeous outdoors. he loves falling asleep in the car and i love driving the loop of farmroads and just thinking. this is our routine on days like this. days when i need to get out and think.

the trouble is, i rarely can simply think. which is why i keep the mini clipboard next to me. because i can't relax unless i write the stuff in my head down on paper. it has to be official. so i drive. ideas come. and the quiet sets in. and i watch my rearview mirror and see my babe doze off. and he snuggles down into his camo hoodie. he lies his head to the side and his eyes flutter closed and his dark lashes settle against his cherub cheeks. he is sometimes loosely grasping a toy or his shoe or a cup and i smile at his sleepy darlingness. i feel so lucky to be with him, to be driving in a land of peace and wheatfields and potato farms and cloud cover. i feel lucky my man is a hard worker and that i get to be a mom at home. with freedom to grow and make ideas into reality.

these past few months i've been working on designs for a very important book. the layout and scanning has not only been wonderful work, but it has been a mesmerizing tale. completely taking control of my heartstrings. never has a project made me think about my life in this way. when you blow off the dust and clear the clutter, my life is a lovely one and i cannot complain about the crumbs and the tediousness of minor annoyances. we are rich with love. just look around. life is never perfect, but it is whole and it is good.

will be discussing more about this client project another day. for now, am taking a little break from blogging. have a list to cross off and a wedding to go to this weekend. i love jet-setting for a celebration of marital bliss. and boy, do i love this kid. the groom is my cousin and his name is benji. of course, now that he's all grown up, he's ben. (still, he's benji to me. and is a very big part of the reason i adore the name.)

am excited and lucky to be with family, once again.


k said...

Sadness! I will miss your posts (esp when you post several times a day) but I know you are going and doing wonderful things.

Happy Trails!

Oh and not to quote you, but, "when you blow off the dust and clear the clutter, my life is a lovely one and i cannot complain about the crumbs and the tediousness of minor annoyances. we are rich with love. just look around. life is never perfect, but it is whole and it is good." I just love that. I should have that framed. It's a good reminder.

Cat said...

I'm a stay at home mom of 2 and would love to be as wise as you are. I wish that I could appreciate it more instead of spending time being angry because my 4 year old is... being a 4 year old.
Have a great week end!

lucinda said...



crissy said...

I love your writing. Your description of Benji falling asleep, well, it's like I was sitting in the seat right next to you, watching him fall asleep with my own eyes. He is lucky to have such a lovely mother.
Have a great weekend. I love family weddings, or any family get-together. I hope you have a great time.

nimmy and girlies said...

So when are you coming down? Do you have to leave right after the wedding? Heed's family is coming over Sunday after church, if you're still here, come on by!

saltbox girl said...

"...his dark lashes settle against his cherub cheeks."
Pure poetry. Thank you for sharing your writing talent (among your many others.)

Cassie said...

What a truly moving post; reminded me why I am so appreciative of being able to be a housewife and how important it is to just stop and take stock once in a while. Thank you

Pina said...

I feel so at ease, reading your words. Then I know that life is really good and eventually I will find happiness in my life again. Soon. Thank you.

Christie said...

Love, love, love the way you write. You articulate so well feelings in my own heart. Thanks, M.

Anonymous said...

This is so lovely. Have an awesome, awesome time.

Those Magic Slippers Will Take You Home said...

As i sit here at work and read your blog it makes my heavy heart settle, my racing mind at ease and i just drift into the words you write. i also feel lucky to live in the country we do, and haev teh beautiful surroundings we do. i don't see potato fields but i see TN, my home state. and i love it! Thank you for this Blog!

summer said...

okay, i love that you have a loop. you would have something cool and charming like that.

'cherub cheeks' .. ooh. the alliteration. yes.

have a lovely li'l break miss mart. thanks for always making time to write for us here in blogworld, even when you're busy. have a grand time at the ball with your boys and your other benji. happy jaunt to you!

marisa said...

enjoy your blogging break! it's definitely good to get away from the computer and simply focus on the tangible pleasures of life.

(longtime blog follower, first comment - finally coming out of Google Reader to say hello. hello!)

leni said...

your words are definitely art.

Krista said...

really marta? you get grumpy?
thanks for the encouraging words. and yes, you are probably right, i shouldn't be so lazy and write down my frustrations in a private journal. will do.
and i love that pic of benji on the swing

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