17 January 2011

my resolutions in a nutshell w/ a burst of ALT enthusiasm.



confession.

i haven't written down my resolutions yet. i know. it's so unlike me. it's almost like i'm afraid of them. almost like after last year with the ups and downs; anticipation, excitement, disappointment, sadness, and frustrations of a failed pregnancy and other sudden-alities (yes, i made that word up. it means when reality hits you in the face and you're like, wait, this wasn't going to be my life, but there it is, in black and white). this year, among a long list of goals, i mostly want to learn how to roll with the punches. can i sign up for that class? is there a punch card to learn how to roll with what life throws at you? i want to learn how to be the best me without having a checklist of what i'd like to learn, accomplish, do, be, manage, micro-manage and so forth this year. i wish for more solid footing, no matter how rocky the trail. i want to learn to feel the emotions of something without being swept under the rug with them nor caught up in their waves.

i want to be strong in faith / strong in heart. i learned a valuable lesson this past year, i don't have to be the rock, i just need to have a rock to cling to. thank goodness for God and His all-knowing power. i have to tie my faith to something bigger than myself. i am not always so steady. however, He is. i often wonder (and wish i knew) what is to come and what is in store, around every corner. i have to let Him lead me into the life He has planned and then follow the whisperings to do what is right, to do what i know i should, to live under the influence and inspiration of God and His light.

there is a quote from aristotle, the more you know, the more you know you don't know. that's how i've been feeling. as if i finally understand every nook and cranny of my wooden box, every knot and nail. like i'm the big man on campus–in my box, that is–until one day, bored of my boards, i start looking and seeing my box for what it is; made of slats of wood. and suddenly, without warning, i see the truth. i see the inbetween space, the seemingly insignificant space i'd ignored all this time. there is sunlight coming through those slats! glorious and warm. a whole world out there, just waiting to be understood. suddenly my thorough knowledge of my box is no longer enough.

i want to be kind and sincere. i want to remember what matters. last year i realized in a very real way, i'm not really in control here. i mean, i am. in a lot of important ways, i am. (i am very in control of my attitude, if my bed gets made, if i eat healthy, if i wipe up spills, if i make good choices, if i am on the ball and work hard and live up to my promises and adhere to my deadlines and make my boys happy, etc. etc.) however i am not in control of the problems that may come, the unknowns that will land in my lap, the stuck sensations of hopelessness, the overwhelming feelings, nor the sudden attacks of i'm-not-good-enoughs or i-feel-like-being-lazy-forever, the small challenges that dribble in. but i am lucky to have power to channel my energy, change my course, rethink my plans and re-route my attitude. i want to embrace what i do have control of and be grateful for it.

so i am going to keep trying. i am going to keep my yoga mat in my car for weeknight sessions, i am going to keep talking myself into zumba class, i will do a better job of talking myself out of watching lame television (anyone else here read Kardashian Konfidential over christmas? no? just me?), i will continue to create, i will continue to snuggle my boys a lot, find new ways to be stylish with old stuff, rack up minutes with my mom and dad, read a book or two, try new recipes with reckless abandon, find joy in what i do, and be disciplined in life and confident from the inside out. and manage to eat breakfasts that don't consist of cookies (starting today). am hoping to focus in on what's real, what matters and what i believe in. i hope to build more meaningful exchanges with those i care about and do something from scratch every single day, whether it is baking bread, writing a letter, molding play-doh, or jotting something genuine on this blog.

two thousand eleven, let the games begin.
thanks for reading. as always, i so appreciate you.

p.s. my sister was right. the i just cut my bangs look goes away after a week. 

[the countdown to ALT is on. i'm getting packed up and heading out very soon! i love that it's taking place in my hometown, my favorite town. i also love that i'll have a personal stylist / babysitter / amazing blogger mom to stay with (whom i can come home to and discuss all the thrilling details with)! it's so nice having a mom who gets blogging, talking about blogging with people who don't see its value can be frustrating. which is why this conference is going to be so rad. it's going to be a crazy phenomenon to meet so many bloggers who i feel like i know but don't actually know. some of them, i may not even recognize until i discover their www. i am going to be so starstruck (and hopefully not too goofy). after reading every one's recaps from last year, i realized how much i wanted to be apart of it; so i'll attempt to pay it forward. i plan to give a full report when i return next week. no laptop, iphone, or twitter account for me (i hope they don't kick me out). i'll be the one playing it old school, with a notebook and pen.

i've been thinking long and hard about our upcoming panel, blogging personal stories. (we speak on thursday at two o'clock, i'd love to meet you!) i indeed feel passionate about it; stories are the threads that can connect us, make us better people. stories are what makes us laugh and makes us cry; stories are what bring us together (no matter how different we are)! i'll be speaking with karey and nie nie who are incredible women and currrently, super fun email penpals. nie nie is a household name around here (a rockstar in the realm of blogging true life stories), it will be a smashing thing to meet her. i have a feeling i'll be all huggy and teary-eyed, like i'm this long lost friend (which technically i'm not, however much i feel for her). i wonder if she gets that a lot. stephanie is definitely a hero of mine and i will never tire of hearing her incredible story. you must set aside time to listen to this recent interview. (like right now while you're browsing blogs.) the interviewer, ruth todd asks such detailed questions. i listened to it while i was scanning documents and later, had a free moment to browse my google reader. after listening to their story, the blogs full of fancy things looked so much less enticing. i didn't feel overwhelmed with jealousy or the gimmie gimmies. i felt grateful for what i have. because that is how personal stories can make you feel. they are a gifts of words, ready for us to absorb them. lots more to come. xo.]

72 comments:

shelly said...

it took me a while to write down my 2011 intentions to. i wanted them to be important this year (well most of them) so i took my time.

LUV your haircut btw! i wish i could pull off the bangs that well :)

erin@mamaswhoknow.blogspot.com said...

I love the bangs Mart! A new you for a new year. Seems like always you've had the short, little bob.

Can't wait to hear all about ALT. You'll be great. Best of luck this week!

ashley maureen said...

well aren't you just the cutest thing. i am smitten with your hair mart!! the bangs are gorgeous and you just look so glowy! love!

Kelly said...

Love your hair! xo

Katy said...

I never comment, but I love, love, love, love, love the bangs! What a perfect cut and color on you!

lily said...

such good words and resolutions... 1. l.o.v.e. the bangs - so cute! and 2. you will love zumba - go for it!

Tracey said...

You look GREAT in bangs!!! And if, by chance, you don't agree with me, don't worry. the great thing about hair is....it grows back!!!!
I love your blog and look forward to everything you're going to share in 2011.

Christie said...

You have always had the best hair. And your bangs take it to the next level. I LOVE them. LOVE. You look so chic. Might be asking for the "marta" at my next hair appointment.

Have fun at ALT! Can't wait to read your recap.

Tiffany said...

love the bangs, marta! wished i was going to alt to hear you and other fabulous speakers. have fun!!

Sarah said...

I love your bangs - very fun. And sophisticated :)
I agree with you on wanting to learn to roll with the punches. It seems like I am always struggling with that. Each day, I try to keep that concept in mind. And I remind myself: make it a great day or not, the choice is yours. It seems you are already on your way, and I look forward to reading about your journey this year!

SIMPLY LIVE said...

Amen my fellow sister in Christ! I am totally with you on all of this. Let's do it!

P.S. I love the bangs and good luck at ALT! You will do fabulous.

The Schoonmakers said...

Marta,

Thank you for sharing your real life with us. I never fail to be inspired when reading your posts. I know we have never met, but I consider you a friend. And I love the new hair! Here's to an amazing new year.

Michelle said...

thank you for continuing to share your well worded thoughts with us!

your bangs are absolutely adorable!! i tried to do the straight across bangs and it took a while to get used to them (like your sister said). rock those bangs and your presentation at alt!!

Amanda said...

I loved reading this post about your goals for 2011. It is so real! And inspiring!

Also, you look fabulous! Love the bangs!

Ronda said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ronda said...

I loved your bangs when I seen you yesterday. They look great on you. A change is always good.

Your blog is just what I needed today. I need to be reminded of what is important and what isn't. Goals are good, but rolling with the punches is not always easy. If we keep reminding ourselves of this we will all be better. Thanks for your thoughts.

Krista said...

i love the new do! you wear it well

Eileen said...

Marta, I love the bangs!

And also I'd like to say that you expressed so well the reasons why I haven't written my goals yet, either ~ being afraid of them. While I did not go through the same kind of turmoil that you did last year, I did have plenty of topsy-turvy-ness with a career crisis and stressful job hunt and multiple interviews and in the end, no job offers. So while I had been geared up for this new, changed life, here I am with pretty much the same life as last year.

Except it's not the same, since we grow as we go through life's challenges. So I am trying to remember that, and not hold back from trying to moving forward out of fear of failure. Really need to get my own goals ironed out soon.

One thing on my list will also be taking a dance class. Hope you get to Zumba, I have heard it is great! Here is to a brave and bold 2011 :)

dandee said...

Confession.

I haven't written my goals yet either. They're still in my head, swirling around waiting for me to find the courage to make them concrete.

Your hair? Love. Classic style that suits you so well, Marta.

I'm excited to (hopefully) have the chance to meet you in real life this week.

CMN said...

Dear M.,
So I needed something today. You know - you've got just five minutes and you're browsing the web, looking... for something. And you don't find it there, or hither, or even yon? Well, I found it here. Your words today? Something

Thanks. And here's hoping your week is something awesome!

All my best,
C.

treece said...

Paragraph 2 gave me goosebumps, Paragraph 3 made me cry,
& paragraph 4 gave me hope on this dreary winters day.
Great writing, good thoughts.:)
ps. Your bangs are ADORABLE!!

ashlynn said...

You rock the bangs!!!

Good luck at ALT it sounds like such a fun time. If I could give you any "boost" before it would e that you are just like your "blogger" self. As in you are what we read & that my dear is one reason we all read. Glad I got to meet you after reading for years.

Zumba? Yes please take me with you!

chloe said...

you look beautiful marta! wish i could go to alt to see you!maybe next year?

Ginnie said...

Marta, my dear, you look BEAUTIFUL! I give the bangs two enthusiastic thumbs up!!

Carly said...

i also want to sign up for the "roll with the punches" class. that would be fabulous. speaking of fabulous- your hair! love the bangs and color. looks great.

Lady Day said...

Marta, you look beautiful and your hair so super shiny! I am praying that your experience be lovely this coming week. You have so much goodness to offer just being you and sharing your story. And this post today... well I know how you feel so know that we are not in it alone. Have fun!

kristin brown said...

yes, love the bangs!! and i also love reading your writing. it always inspires me.

Miranda said...

And this, my dear, is why you're such a popular blogger and dear friend. Your contagious zest for life and impeccable ability to convey that zeal with words. I just can't get enough.

And of course, I love your bangs. But we both knew I would. :)

mandiegirl said...

I still haven't written out my intentions- my hubby and I have just barely spoken about our goals for the year together. Bleh. I don't like that feeling, but oh well. AS for your bangs- SUPER hot. ;) And, I'm happy to report that I FINALLY purchased that nail polish you shared MONTHS ago, Commander in Chic, painted my nails, and now LOVE them. I did all 20! ;) Hope your week is sweet.

Eeny said...

Marta, those bangs look absoulutely gorgeous on you. Love your new hair style. Very pretty.

And your resolutions are perfect.

Shannon said...

Amber Lee over at The Giver's Log has a great post on how life is trickier when you're a capable person. I think you'd like it. And your bangs look great.

Melissa said...

Thank you for putting into words many of my feelings as we enter the new year. I really want to focus on what's important in life. And the part about cookies for breakfast was funny - def hit close to home :) Hope your time at ALT is great - can't wait to hear about it!

Hannah said...

You are stunning! So is this post. Thanks for sharing your words with you fans. ;)

jeanette from everton terrace said...

Loved your post (and your hair!) I haven't written anything down this year, just not feeling it and I think the fact that I trusted that feeling and didn't push myself to something that didn't feel right just because I thought it was something I was supposed to do, shows me I might actually be growing up. About time, I'm 44.

Carla said...

Your hair looks smashing! Really, it was meant for you. Bold & sassy & girly =)

Can't wait to hear all about ALT & the panel you're on...so wishing I was there but it wasn't in the cards this year.

As for resolutions, working on it, working on it. You're not alone in not having it written out. But, it's ok because that's how you roll with the punches, right?

quartz worktops said...

That is such a nice and lovely sharing. Spa always attracts me, and that is just a perfect idea to have a perfect spa. Thanks for posting.

Laura said...

Hi, I'm a blog-stalker, and I just want to give a quick shout out and say that I love your blog! It's my fave! and I want to be you in my next life. :)

Laura said...

Oh, and I'm straight OBSESSED with your handwriting!

Anna Liesemeyer said...

I love your resolutions. I always try to be the rock and forget that I can't do anything without God. He so humbly reminds me of this often:)

I cut myself bangs too this new year and this second week they are starting to look sloppy....oh well:)

So jealous you get to go to ALT and meet some of my blogger heroes! Do share!

lindsalita said...

funny how you have people you feel you 'know' in blogland too! great post, great bangs, great scarf and have a great time at alt.

sheena said...

you are adorable.

I have looked for years for a learning-to-roll-with-the punches class.....still looking. But I have found after several punches, you start to get it;)

rebecca said...

i am in LOVE with your hair! it looks great! keep it forever :)

Lisa said...

Your bangs look really fab on you, Marta! I wish I was going to ALT so I could hear your panel. Ah well, I will look forward to you returning and blogging all about it!

Travelin'Oma said...

You are the writer I want to be when I grow up.

Amanda said...

Marta: Your hair is too adorable--there was no need for you to be nervous about bangs; you make them look so good!

am hoping that I too can learn to depend on God when I sometimes feel too independent.

p.s. totally agree with your mom: you are the writer i want to be.

such admiration for you!

sweet & lovely crafts said...

I love the open honesty of your blog. There's something so refreshing about reading your thoughts.

PS You look so sophisticated with bangs!

*Dream Weaver* said...

Dear Martha,
I loved your post. It resonated within me and I relate to so much of what you said and here we are living in different parts of the world and yet connected with our thoughts and feelings. Yes the power of words. They are just magical. Enjoy ALT, I am sure you will rock it and I pray that God will bless you and your loved ones abundantly this year.

Remember: "Hoarding & Collecting is not a crime. It is an art!"

katrina lauren said...

Sweet Marta...you are such a beautiful person who gives so much to so many through your gift of writing...thank you. So often I'm left wondering how is it that she knows that was exactly what I needed to hear? this was exactly what was on my mind today too...realizing that I'm not in control, accepting that and trusting in God...
Much love,
Katrina

Dawn said...

HOLY CUTE HAIR MARTA!!
I can't get over how cute your hair is :)

Emily said...

I love your bangs! So chic! You're giving me courage to take the bangs plunge. :)

mary elizabeth said...

love the new do' mart! you look great!

Alisha Stamper | Photographer said...

you look fab! I really liked reading your thoughts on resolutions. And rocks. Such worthy insight.

Fran said...

I just found your blog via the ALT summit line-up and landed on this post. You probably get this often, but your post on your resolutions spoke to me in so many ways. It was like you took the words right out of my mouth!! Crazy....good luck at the summit. I so wish I could be there!!!

Cassie said...

A true Marta post, the kind I love and enjoy so very much.
Thank you.
xx

Deb Di maggio said...

what you write is very inspiring. Thanks. x

whit said...

Mart you look adorable with bangs!! I Laaaalove them!! Love this post!! Keep it up!

theeclecticlife said...

marta!!! i love the placeholder you made for the alt conference! i WILL definitely be using it on my blog. =) and there's no "perhaps" in meeting you because i absolutely need to. see you VERY SOON!

Briel79 said...

Cute bangs! I just got mine cut on Sunday too. :)

I made a few resolutions this year and have been keeping up with them pretty well I think. It helps to revisit them once in a while so you don't forget what they were.

Hil said...

I am loving the bangs as well... and that scarf!! You always look so adorable.

I love your insight on following the plan that God has for you and your cute little family. It's so hard to give up our plans, but most of the time the plan that God has for us is so much greater.

I love that you say you want to be "kind and sincere". You are the most kind and sincere woman I know! You are such a dear friend and an example to me on how to put others before yourself. Thank you.

Here's to a new year! I am so excited to see what it will bring for you.

allison said...

ok, the bangs are awesome.

Meg said...

Ok, I don't know why I never comment on your blog because I read every post and I eat it up. And this post is a perfect example of why. Amazing. Inspiring.

One of my newly added resolutions - comment more on blogs that I read and love. This includes yours.

caitlin said...

I want to profess my love here and now. My love for your hair. Holy cow, I didn't even recognize you. That hair cut and color was meant for you. I love it. LOVE.

Also loved this post. My resolution for 2011 is to find some balance in my life.

Happy Twenty-Eleven Miss Mart!

meg duerksen said...

i have not written mine either.

your hair is FAB.
i would love that cut!
it's gorgeous on you.

wish i was coming to alt....maybe next year. :)

Brenda said...

I love your bang look. And, hey, give yourself a break on the lame reality tv.

Krystal Celeste said...

I so needed the inspiration you shared in this blog! :)

swell.life said...

love, love, LOVE the bangs. seriously so modern so perfect for you mart!!

your resolutions are positively beautiful. and am glad i'm not the only one sharing hers mid-january!;)

AmberLee said...

marta! you are so good in bangs.

and you are so brave. love your thoughts and resolutions. you are so right about accepting life. that's a hard one, but so worth it, i think.

have fun at alt! can't wait to get the dish.

Quelly said...

I didn't think it was possible for you to be even more adorable! I love the bangs! You are making me rethink my own hair style --

SewSara said...

you are awesome.
this was a great post.
and i love your haircut! (is that your natural color? you don't have to answer that - who cares?!)

holtkamp said...

your bangs look great!

Sylva Leining said...

"...find new ways to look stylish with old stuff..." thank you, I needed that one.

marla said...

your hair is absolutely perfect...just sayin.

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