21 November 2006

sleepy me

this is all i want right now. mmm. a luscious feather tick with sweet tiny stripes, reminding me of my grandma, a woman who knew the art of making a bed, hospital corners and all. she would have matched this material with a subtle robin egg blue floral pattern of some such and throw a classy plaid pillow upon the heap. it was always so inviting in her home. her linens smelled like new soap. i loved spending time in that giant closet of hers.

so i stayed up way way too late last night. it felt like a major cram session, back to the college days. but now the project is done and the feeling of accomplishment has settled. it seems no matter how much i try to plan ahead and not procrastinate... the deadline presents itself suddenly. this happens so often, it really should not surprise me. i live off this kind of stuff. i love a deadline, i do. it's built inside of me now. it is when the most creative juices flow. i imagine it's how a marathon might feel. i wonder if the best me is really the me in the wee hours. i think perhaps, yes. even when i was young i'd stay up late with a grand idea to change the world and i'd scrawl it into a journal page to be sure i wouldn't lose it. yet inevitably the next morning things come into focus and i decide to undo what i had dreamt up the night before. it's a real shame. i think whenever the best inspiration comes to you, you know it and it suddenly burns and if you don't get up and write it all down, you'll lose the momentum, you'll lose the snapshot of your vision. for me, all my good intentions come to me in the wee hours. the hard part is following through. i am my own boss, yet sometimes i boss myself out of doing something that i once had imagined to be a fantastic idea. i get bossy that way. then i don't necessarily regret that i didn't do it, because once it's gone, it's gone. but it's sad to know that i would have probably done a kind/good/imaginative/inventive thing and now it's gone, never to return. inspiration fleets. that is why the wee hours are so wonderful.

it's all about capturing the intentions.

i can't wait for thanksgiving vacation. thus, the bed looks comfy. Thanksgiving Part One already happened and it was a glorious celebration with my fam. details on that later, since i made my first homemade stuffing, recipe to come. mmm. now that i've finished the lovely looming project (and this silly stream of consciousness blog), the vaca to sun valley will be ever more relaxing & restorational. (speaking of which, i am sure restoration hardware is packed with holiday must-haves.) hmmm. to be continued..


jamieanne said...

I feel like I boss myself out of things too Marta. Maybe one day we'll get together and quit being so bossy and achieve world domination with our fabulous unbossed ideas!
Have a Happy Thanksgiving!

ali said...

Oh Mart, my latest blog entry mirrors this one all too much. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to "blossom" under pressure lately like I usually can, but am glad one of us was able to. I can't even imagine having the energy to put together that delicious-looking stuffing. Well done, my friend. Have fun in Sun Valley! I love those Dansies.

Travelin'Oma said...

Some of your marathons are more like relay races, where you have to be prepared to take off running the second the runner behind you hands you the baton. (Mental prepatation and then waiting for the right time to start running is not the same as procrastinating.) Then you surge ahead , and make up whatever time the team might have lost stumbling along a rocky place. No wonder you're going full steam all night long! You are awesome as a solitary runner, but the relay racers could never take the trophies home if you weren't setting the pace, and sometimes even carrying some of the team members! Keep bossing (coaching) yourself and you'll be amazed at the marathons you'll finish!

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