13 January 2008

raw vs. fried. scalloped. or mashed.



am feeling a bit like these potatoes.
i blog a lot about living life to the fullest degree. about reaching out and grabbing your potential. about being who you were meant to be. but right now i feel more like the potato who is fearful of the shredding, the dicing, the boiling and the mashing. am wondering where bravery comes from. am wondering where i can find it. i think i am all out. does a potato know it's potential? do we?

had a fun weekend roadtrip with dan. it's good to just be together on a long stretch of road. we talked, i read magazines aloud, we munched, i napped and we listened to the random radio stations that you only discover on roadtrips. am questioning what is more enticing: the adventure of newness or the familiar sense of coming home.

21 comments:

Emma said...

Bravery comes from knowing that in spite of whatever fear you may be facing, you are strong and you will survive. It isn't about not fearing the dicing, shredding, boiling and mashing, because - let's face it - that's scary stuff! It's about figuring out what's best for you and doing it. If you have to do it scared, that's okay, you can do it scared.

Hi! I'm delurking; have been reading your blog for awhile now and find it delightful! I wish you all the best in moving past these things, whatever they may be.

Cheers,
Emma

Tonia Conger said...

Hi Marta,
You raise a good question about bravery. You seem like such an ambitious and adventurous woman I can't believe you're experiencing a shortness of it.
Tonight my husband said that it just feels good to have someone love him. I think something as simple as being loved can make us brave.

{emily + russ} said...

i don't know if you were trying to sound profoundly beautiful, but you do. i've been sitting on that thought for a few weeks now, and i love how you put it.

mary elizabeth said...

i heard in a movie once, "its not brave, if you're not scared" so even if you are scared, it doesn't matter. bravery wouldn't be what it is, if we weren't scared first!

marta, you can do whatever you set your mind to. you are amazing.

mary elizabeth said...

and road trips are the best. ours in june was a blast, just being together, in a car, doing & seeing such random things. having a great time, just being together.

Marty said...

I've been reading quotes all night and these two jumped out at me:

"Anything I've ever done that ultimately was worthwhile...initially scared me to death." Bender

"Courage is fear that has said it's prayers." Harris

I have a bag of potatoes in the pantry that haven't done anything except sit there. They are probably jealous of the ones bubbling in the pot.

andrad said...

Hi Marta,
Wow... you've raised some big, philosophical questions there.
Sometimes I have wondered similar things when I have felt like I can't handle what's before me. I think that sometimes bravery can start with small steps - small things that you can do for yourself to care for your soul. Like sleep, a bath, a moment to pause and collect yourself. My father always said 'fatigue makes cowards of us all' - and it's true for me - when I'm tired I have a hard time coping.
Hoping you can find some breathing room and some quiet and in that time you will grow and focus and know that you can do anything.
Peace to you,
A.

courtney said...

hi marta,

i'm courtney. i'm also delurking. :) i love your blog. lovelovelove. i don't have a blog yet, but i'm working on it, step by step. one day soon!

your post today reminds me of one of my favourite quotes by oscar wilde:

be brave. even if you're not, pretend to be. no one can tell the difference.

thank you for writing such beautiful entries every day!

courtney

love.boxes said...

this is going to sound cheesy, but I love to watch movies about courageous people. It ispires me to be more brave.. Ghandi, Amazing Grace, Gross Anatomy, Chariots of Fire and Apollo 13 to name a few. When your feeling a bit potatoeish.. those are some good ones.

gab said...

to my favorite spud:

you are brave. and getting braver. hang in there!

amy said...

oh marta. girl, you know i know how you feel. it's okay to not be super-marta all the time. you are an amazing person and an inspiration to all and....it's january. and monday. xo.

Jane Flanagan said...

I love this post. If I'm not scared out of my wits once inawhile - at work, going out, travelling - I feel like I'm getting complacent.

And coming home only ever feels as great as when I've accomplished something that challenged me to be brave, not when I'm retreating there out of fear.

But, as in all things, there's balance. You don't want to get hooked on "the fear" and never learn the value putting in real time on something, and you never want to get stuck in such a rut that change seems insurmountable.

I think the healthiest and most authentic of people goes through moments of existential crisis. You have expressed it beautifully here.

rebecca said...

"Courage is not simply one of the virtues but the form of every virtue at the testing point, which means at the point of highest reality." - c.s. lewis

jamieanne said...

Mart,

You crack me up. Not that you meant to. But seriously...after reading this post, the wheels in my head started turning, and before I knew it, I had spent 30 minutes thinking of all the different ways my life is analagous to potatoes. Seriously. I almost wrote myself an essay on it.

Lalalalove this post. (And you).

ali said...

Marta, I'm stunned that you ever feel a lack of bravery, dear girl. Usually, I just try to remember that I'm not the first person to do it, whatever it is. And that the last person to do it most likely survived!

xo. Hope you're feeling better today.

Marty said...

The whole potato thing...I get it now!

Abby said...

Marta,
You read my mind! I'm in a total career slump and have been asking myself these same questions lately. It's comforting to know that someone as inspiring as you can feel the same things.

Julie said...

I know what you mean...about the potato thing.
How about both? Adventure and coming home. Both entice me.

Design Addict said...

you know...i think it's easy to not live life to the fullest degree. what does that mean anyway? i think it varies from person to person. to me, all that matters is that you're happy. if you're not happy, ask yourself what would make you happy and then work towards that. i get in the fearful potato funk too and sometimes i just want to be there. i think maybe you have to go through the funks sometimes to really appreciate the good stuff. maybe that's how you know you're living life to your fullest... by having the courage to eventually come out of the funk and appreciate life. (which you seem to de really well by the way)

LAURA said...

i just wanted to let you know that i have been formulating a "comment" since you posted this. i'm still working on how to respond to these potato words.
you really got me thinking.

hopefully the words i'm working so hard to put down will be earth shaking...or at least potato rocking.

LAURA said...

we all hope to live life to the fullest degree. we start, like potatoes burried in the darkness, hoping to find our way into the world, into the light. we feel around, trying to make sense of the shapeless unknown space around us. we wonder "about being who you were meant to be." our fears overshadow our potential. i know sometimes my fear of doing something actually well can occasionally prevent me from trying it (and i will never understand that about myself). you asked "does a potato know it's potential?" i thought a lot about this... do i know my potential? does anyone? and i guess that fear, that uncertainty, that burried in the darkness feeling is why even potatoes were blessed with eyes.
someday we'll see it all come together. in the light.

(here it is:)

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