16 February 2009

bear world


I honestly can’t believe that cinnamon bears are not universally available. Marta told me that some of you have never, ever experienced this gooey, gummy, stuck-in-the-grooves-of-your-teeth ursine goodness. I’m shocked and appalled. Cinnamon bears are (or at least should be) as much a part of every childhood experience as hand-me-downs and Super Mario Brothers. Next you’ll be telling me that there are places where you can’t get Fry Sauce with your burger combo meal.

I realize that the economy is on the skids, and that Congress thinks they’re doing us all a huge favor by concentrating on the stimulus bill. What they should be doing is ensuring that all Americans have equal access to cinnamon bears. Like Marta, I’m campaigning for cinnamon bear reform. I won’t rest until cinnamon bears can be found in every grocery store, quickie-mart, and truck stop from sea to shining sea!

To start, I’m sending (well, technically Marta is sending) a free package of bears to Victoria, our completely random winner, who loves When Harry Met Sally and who has apparently been leading a life without cinnamon bears. Please email your info to marta@martacards.com.

To those who weren’t quite as random and yet still want to experience the blessings of cinnamon bears, I have only one suggestion: write to your Senator or Member of Congress.

(I'm informed that Marta promised to announce her favorite romantic movies in this post. Since she's busy, I'll take the liberty of listing her top chick flicks, in order of preference: (1) This is Spinal Tap, (2) The Godfather II, (3) The Bourne Ultimatum , (4) Fast and Furious 3: Tokyo Drift, and (5) Beaches.)

6 comments:

Emily said...

Oh, dearest Hubby of Marta, do you realize that Fry Sauce is not available (to my knowledge) outside of Utah and Idaho? And that National Geographic even documented it as a state-specific food a couple of years ago, just as deep-dish pizza is state-, nay, city-specific to Chicago, IL? It is a sad thing indeed. Neither my brother or I grew up in UT, but we have spent lots of time there, and my bro lives in Chicago (home for us) and makes his own fry sauce. His friends think it's disgusting. Sad, isn't it?

Thanks for your hilarious period posting, btw. :)

Emily said...

"periodic posting," I mean. :S

brooke said...

Dan,
If you have ever seen Beaches I will eat my hat.

Keah and Michael O'Hearon said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Keah and Michael O'Hearon said...

Just can I say that I live in Canada, and we definitely do not have fry sauce or cinnamon bears, but I have certainly heard lots about them......it's sad.

summer said...

fry sauce?
i feel left out.

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