my little nugget of sunshine.
you have become so deeply apart of our family. i think of our married life before you arrived and wonder how we survived without discussing you and playing with you and thinking about you and loving you and worrying about you and wondering about you and jumping around with you and being in awe of you. life is better with you. knowing you makes my life full like the big bright moon. the moon (and a million other things) will forever remind me of you. whenever we're out late and you've dozed off in the car, you wake up as we snuggle you into the warm house and you'll usually note the moon and the stars, pointing upwards. you are happy to see them, as if you learned the constellations before you were born.
my love for you is enriched with gratitude. i loved you when you were born, with my entire heart and soul. you had some difficulty that first week and my heart ached with uncertainty and worry and a mother's newfound love. now, my eyes are more clearly opened to those who've lost their precious pieces of heaven all too early. as a mother, i have a shockingly new understanding of what real loss might feel like. i know to love you intensely each and every moment, in honor of the babes who are not in arms. the days don't go by without feeling ever so blessed for you (and by you). i try hard never to lose sight of the miracle it is to have you here; growing up healthy and strong and happy and smiling. i marvel at you and the fact that i get to be your mom.
lately you love afternoon dance parties, green beans, listening to me re-tell the three bears during lunchtime, doing push-ups with dad, reading scratch n' sniff books (smells. very. good.), piling up and jumping in loads of laundry, blowing in a whistle (your latest skill!), wearing your plastic fireman hat, scooping ingredients into a bowl and taking lengthy naps (knock on wood). sometimes you even have lullaby requests. of course you have your typical two year old moments. i've learned to be clever about timing outings and errands, as you are learning to be independent and want things your way. you insist on funny little things and i try to be patient. when the mood is right though, you remember your manners. i especially love it when you say please / thank you / sorry to inanimate objects like toys, books and furniture. it's quite endearing how your curiosity and imagination mix. suddenly your animals and toys are becoming your pals and pretend games are entertaining, for you and for me. you are my favorite little playmate. your vocabulary is growing every day and you surprise us with words we didn't know you knew! you have even tackled your alphabet sounds as in B is for Benji.
you are not too big, not too small.
you are juuuust right.
happy unbirthday to you.