25 February 2011

happy unbirthday little you



my little nugget of sunshine.

you have become so deeply apart of our family. i think of our married life before you arrived and wonder how we survived without discussing you and playing with you and thinking about you and loving you and worrying about you and wondering about you and jumping around with you and being in awe of you. life is better with you. knowing you makes my life full like the big bright moon. the moon (and a million other things) will forever remind me of you. whenever we're out late and you've dozed off in the car, you wake up as we snuggle you into the warm house and you'll usually note the moon and the stars, pointing upwards. you are happy to see them, as if you learned the constellations before you were born.

my love for you is enriched with gratitude. i loved you when you were born, with my entire heart and soul. you had some difficulty that first week and my heart ached with uncertainty and worry and a mother's newfound love. now, my eyes are more clearly opened to those who've lost their precious pieces of heaven all too early. as a mother, i have a shockingly new understanding of what real loss might feel like. i know to love you intensely each and every moment, in honor of the babes who are not in arms. the days don't go by without feeling ever so blessed for you (and by you). i try hard never to lose sight of the miracle it is to have you here; growing up healthy and strong and happy and smiling. i marvel at you and the fact that i get to be your mom.

lately you love afternoon dance parties, green beans, listening to me re-tell the three bears during lunchtime, doing push-ups with dad, reading scratch n' sniff books (smells. very. good.), piling up and jumping in loads of laundry, blowing in a whistle (your latest skill!), wearing your plastic fireman hat, scooping ingredients into a bowl and taking lengthy naps (knock on wood). sometimes you even have lullaby requests. of course you have your typical two year old moments. i've learned to be clever about timing outings and errands, as you are learning to be independent and want things your way. you insist on funny little things and i try to be patient. when the mood is right though, you remember your manners. i especially love it when you say please / thank you / sorry to inanimate objects like toys, books and furniture. it's quite endearing how your curiosity and imagination mix. suddenly your animals and toys are becoming your pals and pretend games are entertaining, for you and for me. you are my favorite little playmate. your vocabulary is growing every day and you surprise us with words we didn't know you knew! you have even tackled your alphabet sounds as in B is for Benji.

you are not too big, not too small.
you are juuuust right.
happy unbirthday to you.

12 comments:

Melissa said...

You write so beautifully. What a special note for your boy. I remember this time, and it is so sweet. I cried through my blog post about my pre-teen yesterday. I didn't realize how much I missed my little girl and this time in our lives. It's good that you are soaking it in. Each stage is wonderful, but this was my favorite. :)

Jen said...

My goodness, was your son born August 25th? My daughter is 6 1/2 today - same birthday? Those half birthdays really are significant when they are little! Happy day to Benji!

Mrsink said...

So very sweet!! What a wonderful and adorable treasure you have!

talesofahummingbird said...

love it. you will cherish these little notes the most when he is grown. :) thanks for the idea, i too love documenting all the awesome things about this special time, right now in his life. in a blink it seems its all different and new again.

Kendra said...

what a cute and memorable post! You are such a great writer!

happy 2.5 birthday to your cute little boy! :)

sarah said...

what was life before our babies? i often think of the same thing.

happy two.five to baby b.

Travelin'Oma said...

Life starts when you have a baby—yours as well as the baby's. Everything looks new through their eyes. I'm glad you're taking the chance to see it all.

Rachel said...

My little guy is just 2 months older than yours. I love that your Benji-entries line up exactly with what I am experiencing with my son. I'd like to think that Benji and Christian would be fun playmates. haha. Thanks for writing and putting into words the feelings I have too!

Cassie said...

A humongous happy half birthday to Benji!!
xx

whit said...

Love this little boy..happy happy half birthday little man!!

summer said...

does it really go by this fast?! oh my. such a beautiful story you've been recording here, mart. i can't believe it's been 2.5 years. thank you for giving me all kinds of good ideas for living and loving being a mom. you know how to savor it.

ps. "juuuust right". loved this.

dragonflydreamer said...

As the Mother of two now adult sons, reading this love note to Benji brought back so many feelings and memories of being a young Mother. You are one of my favorite bloggers and an awesome writer. I also feel very drawn to your faith. Thank you for sharing so much inspiration, creativity and most of all positivity in your blog.

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